reflections on this Christmas season

This week I was a coffee shop with my dad. We were talking about Christmas. I told my dad that my dream gift was a iPad. Now I recognize that a iPad is a very expensive gift. So I know that this is not going to happen this holiday season. But we were talking about what my dream gift was.

Also this week I read a press release from success for kids and families, a organization that I have been affiliated with for a long time. Also this organization is the site for my internship next semester. I would like to include a statement from this press release. This is from the executive director of success for kids , Who is also a colleague of mine.she was talking about what success for kids is doing for their families this holiday season .  "Even though the average gifting amount is enough to get the kids a cool electronics toy-most of the kids themselves have asked for something really practical this year-like ‘a pair of shoes without holes in em'- or ‘my first pair of jeans that are not hand-me-downs"

As I reflect on this statement, I am beginning to wonder what is the true meaning of Christmas. I asked for a a iPad, and these kids ask for stuff like shoes and what they need to survive . I have seen a lot of stuff as a mental-health counseling professionals, that I never saw before. My experiences, have given me the opportunity to work with individuals that do not want iPad, they just want stuff to survive the next day. I read about these stories all the time, and I am beginning to see just how heartbreaking these stories can be.

It didn't used to be this way. I have now had the opportunity to workfor phenomenal organizations, that seek to help individuals in these kinds of situations. I know now that the meaning of Christmas cannot be the gifts that you get, because some people do not receive gifts. They do not have a family and friends to you with on Christmas Day. The greatest gift that they will ask for, is a gift that will let them survive. 

As I write this, I recognize how fortunate I am this Christmas season. I recognize that I will be able to spend time with friends and family. I might get a couple gifts. But the opportunity to spend time with family and friends will be the greatest gift of all.

Merry Christmas my friends. I hope you have the opportunity to spend time with loved ones this holiday season. Peace, and God bless.

Richard Chapman, on the profession 2011.

Why personal growth is professional growth

I can't speak for my fellow classmates, but I have long assumed I am not the only one whose work toward a master's degree in rehabilitation and mental health counseling has been more than a professional journey. It is, in fact, a professional journey -- but a personal one, too. (That's what happens when all your professors are therapists.) So while we grow as counselors, we have the opportunity to grow as people -- that is, if we are willing.

And both professionally and personally, I think we should be.

I will never forget the first class I took in our graduate program: foundations of mental health counseling. From day one, I had come to the conclusion that every person on earth should take the class -- not because I think every person should be a counselor, but because it is the perfect class to spark the kind of self awareness that makes all of our needs for growth completely obvious (and yes, we all need to grow!). You learn about empathy versus sympathy: As Brene Brown puts it in her book I Thought it was Just Me (But it Isn't), "...when we give sympathy, we do not reach across to understand the world as others see it. We look at others from our world and feel sorry or sad for them. ... Empathy is about connection. Sympathy is about separation." You learn the roadblocks to effective communication: ridiculing, criticizing, warning/threatening, telling people what they should or ought or have to do, commanding, starting your sentences with the phrases "do you realize?" or "At least...", interrogating, giving unsolicited advice, I could go on. You learn what distorted thoughts are and why they are maladaptive.

And then you have to decide: do I learn these things and only use them professionally? Or do I learn these things, use them to discern what in my life needs improvement and proceed to make the necessary changes?

Growth -- be it physical, professional or personal -- is uncomfortable. For personal growth, we are required to step outside our comfort zones, to stretch ourselves, to push ourselves. We have to dig deep inside -- deeper than we've looked before -- and uncover what we've always kept covered, shine some light on we have otherwise always kept in the dark. Sometimes, we have to acknowledge what we've always avoided acknowledging. Other times, we have to acknowledge what we didn't even realize we weren't acknowledging. And it's hard work, and it's painful, and uncomfortable.

But you know what? It's exactly what one day we'll ask our clients to do. It is part of the process we will facilitate for them when they are the clients and we are therapists. How good can we be at that if we have never known it ourselves? I don't remember exactly when, but at some point in the course of taking classes toward this master's, it dawned on me that for people in our field, while to grow personally is valuable in and of itself, to grow personally is also to grow professionally. You do the former, and you will do the latter. Period.

Arleen is six classes away from her MA in rehabilitation and mental health counseling. Check out her blog at http://arleenspenceley.blogspot.com.

introduction to gust contributing

hello everyone I hope you all are having a good time this week before Christmas. I wanted to talk to you about something new for on the profession. Every couple weeks, I will be getting someone to guest post on my blog. The idea behind this event's to give you guys adifferent perspective about the counseling profession. It is my hope to change the conversation about counseling. This will be a opportunity for some of my colleagues and friends to share a different perspective about the counseling profession.



I am really excited to have my very good friend and colleague Arlene to be the first guest contributor on my blog. She is a master student in the Department of rehabilitation and mental health counseling at the University of South Florida. She is also a journalist for the St. Pete Times. She tells me that she is very excited about being a contributor. This blog will be out on Wednesday. As always please let me know what you think

the complex issue of sexual attraction in the counseling relationship

Hello folks, I hope you all having a good day. I want to talk about the complex issue of sexual attraction in the counseling relationship. This is a issues that is often not told about for a variety of reasons. I will be getting into those reasons in a couple of paragraphs. The idea of this blog is coming from a conversation I had with a colleague and a friend of mine about the subject of sexual attraction is the counseling relationship.

So let me give you some ethical and legal guidelines about this subject. Some of this is pretty common sense. It is unethical to have sex with a active client. There is no way around this ethical principle. In the state of Florida, you can lose your license if you violate this ethical principle.As mental health professions we have a duty to take action if we know about professional that is doing this.

This is the ethical standard that we must follow. However the issue of sexual attraction is very complicated. because of the nature of the counseling relationship, attraction does take place. This is a natural. However, acting on those feelings is unethical.

So what should you do if a client says they are attracted to you? This is a topic that you should talk about it session. You as a professional have the duty to set appropriate boundaries with the client. You should explore the meaning behind the attraction. We always want to approach the subject like we do in all subjects, in a unconditional positive regard manner. We always want to be non-judgmental.

Okay so we know how to handle this issue, but what happens if the practitioner is attracted to the client? This does sometimes happen. However again , we can not violate this ethical standard above. So how do you handle a situation of attraction? There was not a lot of the literature on this, but the literature does have some recommendations. You should never discuss this with the client. By discussing it, you will bring your business into the counseling relationship. You should seek supervision on this issue. it is very appropriate to ask for help. You need to remember that, this is not relevant to the Relationship you have with the client. See a counselor your self if it is appropriate to discuss the underlying issue.

a response to Jeff

hello folks, I hope everyone is having a good day. As many of you know, I believe that a blog it's supposed to be a blog is supposed to be a ongoing dialogue between people. I forming believe that a blog, is about the free exchange of differing ideas. Going along with that, I would like to take this opportunity to respond to a friend of mine, who recently posted a comment on this blog.

This is what a friend of mine said on my last blog"its difficult to medically diagnose "some differences that must be addressed" . Iwould like to say thank you to my friend, Jeff from making this comment about my last blog. I agree with him, it is difficult to diagnose differences. However, I was not arguing that we don't need to diagnose people. Sometime, a diagnosis is a way to give people a name for finally what they have. A diagnosis will sometimes give people the supports and help then they need. So I diagnosis is a good thing.

What I was saying is that we need to be careful with labeling the diagnosis.I believe when we label people as having a complex mental health issue, that we do something to that individuals. Everyone dissolves the opportunity, to get the help that they need. Even if some people say that they have a complex and serious mental illness. Some people argued, that because a individual has a severe diagnosis, and they do not need help.

It is always not necessarily to provide treatment to individuals, and diagnose You can see a individual with out giving them a diagnosis.

I need help with a definition of something

yes everyone I am still alive. This semester is done, and I began my final semester of graduate school in rehabilitation and mental health counseling. I can't believe that I am about be done. It seems like only yesterday that I began my graduate studies. So I have been thinking a lot about something, and I need you guys help.

So right now I am a meeting of self advocates, will I am a speaker at this meeting. I am having a ball. I have listened to a lot of individuals that have a complex disabilities by societies standards. Some people might say that they have a severe disability. The question that I have been struggling with is, what is the definition of a complex disability? How do we define this?.

I have some more my friends that work with individuals that have a severe mental illness. I believe that we can define a disability by, the level of complexity. I'm believe that when we define a individual by the level of complexity, then we are treating them as a individual that needs to be taken care of. I believe that we need to treat people as people. We don't need to define them by the artificial level of disability that society has given them. This goes for individuals with all different types of disabilities.

My only advice, to my friends in the mental health profession is, instead of saying that an individual has a complex disability , say that individual has some differences that must be addressed. We need believe that we can help all individuals. All individuals, regardless of their differences should have access to the same level of services that we provide .